Query Letter: One of Those Faces: A Twisty Psychological Thriller with an Unreliable Narrator

Elle Grawl’s debut, One of Those Faces, exploded onto the scene in 2022, delighting readers with her appealingly tormented heroine and new twists around every corner.  The story follows a troubled painter, who was already struggling with insomnia and nightmares when a mysterious stranger who looks exactly like her is murdered outside her apartment. J.T. Ellison called the book “an insidious, creepy page-turner,” and Loreth Anne White raved that it was “sure to put [Grawl] on the map.” Did it ever.  You can order your copy of the hypnotic, unconventional thriller here.

(Next up on your reading list – Grawl’s second book, What Still Burns, which Tessa Wegart called “addictive.”)

Grawl was kind enough not share the query that landed her representation for One of Those Faces. She noted that with this letter, she structured the pitch a little differently to grab attention from the first sentence. It clearly worked.

Dear Ms. Saul,

Have you ever wondered if someone out there looks exactly like you?  

Harper Mallen knows for a fact there is.  Set in modern-day Chicago, One of Those Faces is an adult psychological suspense novel told through the first-person narrative of Harper, a former teen runaway and present-day insomniac illustrator.  Years after surviving a traumatic accident that killed her sister, Harper is still haunted by memories of her identical twin.  While struggling with the ghosts from her past, Harper’s close encounter to a murder near her home in Chicago is made all the more chilling by the resemblance between herself and the victim.  

As Harper becomes more engrossed in the investigation, she discovers unsettling links to other doppelgangers killed in a similar manner.  Harper’s unstable state of mind and reckoning with the past she tried to bury jeopardizes her relationships, both old and new, during her frantic search for the killer.  The closer Harper comes to unraveling the truth of both the murders and her past, the more she begins to doubt her own sanity, especially as everyone around her suffers terrible fates.  

I am seeking representation for my first novel.  To provide you a little background, I hold a B.A. in English Literature and I am a licensed attorney.  In addition to practicing law, I’ve worked as a freelance writer and book reviewer over the past few years. 

I am writing to you because I saw on your agency’s website that you are currently seeking thriller manuscripts.  I hope that my story connects with you. I would love the chance to send you the entire manuscript at your request.  Please feel free to contact me via email or phone.  

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query Letter: It Dies With You: A Darkly Sweet Southern Noir Set in a Junkyard

I’m a sucker for southern noir and Scott Blackburn perfectly balances grit and heart in his acclaimed debut, It Dies With You (a Writer’s Bone best of 2022 pick).  Hudson Miller, the protagonist is a washed-up ex-boxer who inherits his estranged father’s salvage yard after his dad is killed on site. When another mysterious death is revealed, Hudson teams up with a surly senior and a spunky teenaged girl to investigate. You can order a copy here to find out why Publisher’s weekly called Blackburn a gifted author: https://www.amazon.com/Dies-You-Novel-Scott-Blackburn-ebook/dp/B094GNWCPQ

Blackburn was kind enough to share the letter that landed him an agent on his first try:

I am writing to seek representation for my first novel, It Dies with You, a Southern crime fiction of around 66,000 words. I’ve sought you specifically due to your impressive client list of both literary and commercial fiction, specifically that of Michael Farris Smith and Daniel Woodrell.

After his promising boxing career is put on hold by a suspension, 29-year-old Hudson Miller is desperate for money. He’s bouncing at a local dive bar to make ends meet when an unexpected opportunity comes along. His estranged father, Leland, is murdered in an apparent robbery-gone-bad, and his business, a salvage yard called Miller’s Pull-a-part, has been left to Hudson. 

When Hudson returns to his hometown of Flint Creek, North Carolina to run the salvage yard, he soon learns that his father’s business was far more than junk cars and scrap metal; it was the site of an illegal gun-running ring. But the secrets don’t end there; the body of a local missing man is discovered in the yard. Reeling for answers when his own life is put in danger, Hudson forms an unlikely bond with his dad’s former employee, a 70-year-old, beer-guzzling Vietnam vet named Charlie, and the sister of the dead man, a feisty teenage girl named Lucy. What the trio of outcasts uncover will shake the tight-knit town of Flint Creek to its very core. 

Complete at 65,800 words, It Dies with You is a Southern-fried tale in the vein of crime fiction authors Michael Farris Smith, David Joy, and Joe Lansdale. 

I’m an educator and a 2017 graduate of the Mountainview MFA program, mentored largely by Southern writer Wiley Cash. My previous work has appeared in Deep South Magazine. 

Thank you very much for your time. I have also included two blurbs from fellow crime fiction writers.

Best,

Scott Blackburn

Query Letter: Invisible City: An acclaimed, award-nominated debut

Invisible City, Julia Dahl’s critically acclaimed debut (originally titled The Stringer) was a finalist for an Edgar and Marry Higgins Clark Award.  Dahl tells the story of a young journalist covering the murder of a Hasidic Jewish woman while searching for her mother, who abandoned the family when she was a baby.  You can order a copy of the novel that BookPage called "riveting stuff indeed" here: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-City-Rebekah-Roberts-Novels/dp/1250043395

Dahl was kind enough to share the query letter for her page turner:

Stephanie,

My former colleague Gillian Flynn suggested I email you with a pitch for my novel, “The Stringer,” a mystery about a New York City tabloid reporter who gets tangled in the murder of a Hasidic woman.

“The Stringer” is the story of Rebekah Roberts, a recent college graduate who has moved from Missouri to New York partly to become a reporter, and partly to be closer to her mother, who abandoned her as an infant and may be living in Brooklyn. Rebekah’s mother was a Hasidic Jew from Williamsburg who became pregnant and married her Christian father during a period of rebellion. She fled the family just weeks after Rebekah was born and neither Rebekah nor her father has heard from her since.

The novel begins when Rebekah is called to cover a dead body, found dumped and naked in a scrap pile along the Gowanus canal. The dead woman is Hasidic, and Rebekah is shocked to learn that not only will she will be buried without an autopsy – but that because of the NYPD’s habit of kowtowing to the powerful ultra-orthodox community, her killer may get away with murder.

Rebekah finds herself drawn into the mystery of how this woman died, and teams with Saul Katz, an NYPD captain and orthodox Jew. Through Saul, she learns about the cloistered, cryptic world her mother grew up in – but Saul has secrets of his own, secrets that put Rebekah directly in the path of the killer.

I see “The Stringer” on the shelves alongside Gillian’s novels, as well as works like “The Serialist” by David Gordon, “So Much Pretty” by Cara Hoffman, “Lush Life” by Richard Price, “Black and White and Dead All Over” by John Darton, and the novels of Tana French. At just under 70,000 words, the book is a tight tale, unfolding over one week in the winter of 2010. I see it as the first in a series of three books featuring Rebekah Roberts, Saul Katz, and Rebekah’s mother.

In terms of platform, mine is straightforward: I am a journalist specializing in crime and criminal justice. I spent three years as a stringer on the city desk at the New York Post, and now work as an associate producer for CBS’s 48 Hours Mystery, where I also write about crime for CBS News.com. I have written about everything from teenage girls who kill their parents to police suicide to underage prostitution for publications like the Boston Globe Magazine, Salon, The Daily Beast, Seventeen and Miller-McCune, among many others. (You can see my work and resume at www.juliadahl.com)

As you may have noticed, the world of Brooklyn’s ultra-orthodox Jews has lately become part of the zeitgeist. Deborah Feldman’s memoir “Unorthodox” made the New York Times best seller list in February, and the recent series of articles in the Times accusing Brooklyn’s District Attorney Charles Hynes of giving the ultra-orthodox special treatment when it comes to sexual abuse in the community dovetails exactly with the themes of “The Stringer.”

I have attached the first 50 pages of “The Stringer” for your perusal. I look forward to hearing from you. And a huge congratulations on the review of "Gone Girl" in today's Times - I can't wait to read it!

Best,

Julia